Coping with Grief During the Holidays: Finding Comfort Amidst Celebration
As the holidays approach, they can bring mixed emotions, especially for those dealing with loss. While others may feel joy, excitement, and connection, you may feel sadness, longing, or even anger. This is a time when grief can feel intensified as we face empty chairs, missing laughter, or traditions that now seem incomplete. Here are some compassionate ways to navigate this challenging season.
1. Acknowledge Your Grief
It’s entirely normal to experience sadness, loneliness, or frustration during the holidays. Grief is personal, and it doesn’t follow a set timeline or pattern. Allow yourself to feel whatever arises without judgment—there’s no "right way" to grieve. By giving space to these emotions, you honor both your feelings and the person you've lost.
2. Set Boundaries & Manage Expectations
Holidays often come with a surge of social expectations and obligations, which can be overwhelming. Decide which gatherings feel manageable, and give yourself permission to say “no” when you need to. Share your boundaries with friends and family to help them understand what feels comfortable for you. Planning when you’ll arrive, and leave events can also give you a sense of control in an otherwise unpredictable emotional landscape.
3. Modify Traditions
Traditions can be bittersweet when grieving. You might choose to continue certain ones, adapt them, or let some go for now. This year, consider starting a new tradition that feels more healing. Perhaps light a candle for your loved one, take a walk to honor their memory, or create a memory table with cherished photos and mementos. Small acts like these can provide a sense of closeness and peace.
4. Practice Self-Care
Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being becomes even more important when grieving. Prioritize rest, nourish your body with balanced meals, and consider gentle movement like walking or yoga to release tension. Mindfulness practices such as journaling, deep breathing, or meditation can help keep you grounded, offering moments of calm when emotions feel intense.
5. Reach Out for Support
Lean on your support network. Whether through friends, family, or community, connecting with others who understand your journey can be incredibly comforting. A support group can offer solidarity, reminding you that you're not alone in your experience. Therapy is another option to explore deeper healing and gain tools to help you cope.
6. Be Flexible with Plans
Embrace each day as it comes, without rigid expectations. Plans may change, and that’s okay. Allow yourself the freedom to do what feels best in the moment. Remember, it’s okay to feel joy amidst grief. Experiencing moments of happiness doesn’t minimize your love or loss—it simply means you’re human.
7. Opting Out Is an Option
Sometimes, the best way to care for yourself is by stepping away from traditional holiday celebrations altogether. You might decide to take a trip or spend the season in a different way. This can create a new experience without the usual reminders, giving you the space to process on your own terms.
Additional Resources to Support You:
Books:
"It's OK That You're Not OK" by Megan Devine
"Notes on Grief" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
"The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss" by Mary Frances O’Connor
Podcasts:
Terrible, Thanks for Asking
It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine
GriefCast
Journaling Resource:
"How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed: A Journal for Grief"
At Dwell Therapy Collective, we understand how painful this season can be. If you’re looking for support, we’re here to help you navigate grief with compassion and understanding. Reach out to schedule a session or join our community as we work together toward healing and hope. You don’t have to face this alone; together, we can find comfort amidst the holidays.
Remember, there’s no right way to feel during the holidays—only what feels true for you. This season, may you find small pockets of peace and the support you need to honor both your grief and your resilience.
